Friday 14 December 2018

The Forgetful Student


Here’s a poem from my book, The Teachers are in Trouble and Other Rhymes.

The Forgetful Student


When I arrived at school today
I felt extremely bad.
I’d forgotten to do my homework
and my teacher got quite mad.

She said, ‘You’re very forgetful,’
and she tapped me on the head.
‘Do you think you can fix the problem?’
‘Of course I can,’ I said.

When I awoke next morning,
my homework was complete.
I put it in my schoolbag,
then headed down the street.

And when I arrived at school,
I didn’t know what to say.
Not a soul turned up for class,
because it was Saturday.


Tuesday 6 November 2018

First chapter from The Adventures of Captain Cranky - The King's Treasure

I’d like to share with you the first chapter from my MG book, The Adventures of Captain Cranky – The King’s Treasure. It’s a humorous story about a pirate who’s seeking his fortune and beginning to realise the consequences of being angry all the time. I’m currently sending the book out to publishers while I finish the sequel. Let me know what you think in the comments section.

1

The Spiteful was in pursuit of a merchant vessel that was desperately trying to get away, but The Spiteful was slowly gaining.
Standing on The Spiteful’s 175-foot-long wooden deck, was the angriest pirate who ever sailed the high seas. His name was Captain Cranky.
Cranky had a carefully-braided, long red beard and an eye patch covered his right eye. His black tricorn hat had a skull and cross bones and was adorned with a white feather. His knee-length red coat was well worn. It had an orange and yellow flamed trim, which also lined the coat cuffs. Underneath the coat was a ruffled white shirt. A grey pant leg was tucked into the scuffed black boot on his right side. On his left side Cranky wore a wooden peg leg, which had several dents in it. Around his lean waist he wore a belt adorned with a large gold buckle. A blunderbuss was tucked into one side of the belt and his cutlass was sheathed on the other. Cranky was scowling at his crew and shook his right hook at them.
“Don’t let that ship get away!” he yelled. “Remember, no prey, no pay!”
Cranky looked up at the scrawny figure in the crow’s nest. Above the man’s waist was the only part of him that was visible. He was wearing a red bandana and a dirty white shirt. The pirate was looking through his spyglass and poking his tongue out at the sailor in the merchant vessel’s crow’s nest.
“Corvus, stop messin’ about!” yelled Cranky. “What are they up t’?”
Corvus adjusted his spyglass then lowered it. “Cap’n, they be dumpin’ cargo.”
“They reckon they’ll go faster with less weight,” said Cranky. “Dumpin’ some of their cargo won’t help them, we’ll still catch them.”
The Spiteful was capable of reaching speeds of up to 11 knots, so it was the perfect ship to use in a pursuit.
Captain Cranky turned to his navigator, Mr Turney. Mr Turney was pencil thin and was wearing a red and white striped shirt. On his big ears were several earrings.
“Watch that cross wind, Mr Turney. Steady as she goes.”
“Aye, aye, Cap’n!”
Cranky turned to the young man who was standing next to him. He had blue eyes and wavy shoulder-length hair, which was sandy-coloured. He was wearing a white shirt that was rolled up at the sleeves. His blue shorts were frayed at the bottom and he was barefoot. Around his neck hung a shark tooth from a piece of string.
“Sam, I wants ye t’ go below deck.”
Sam pressed his lips together and his eyes narrowed. “But Captain, I’m the first mate. I think I’d be better use up here.”
Cranky shook his hook at him. “Avast! I won’t tolerate insubordination, Sam Seaworth!”
Sam clenched his hands to fists and yelled, “I can handle myself!”
“’Ave ye finished?”
Sam took a few deep breaths and then said, “Yes.”
Cranky cupped his hand around his ear. “I didn’t hear ye?”
Sam rolled his eyes and let out a loud sigh. “I’m not saying ‘aye’, it’s not natural for me.”
“Are ye a pirate or not?”
“Of course I am,” Sam immediately shot back.
Cranky frowned, shook his head and said, “Go below deck, I’ll call ye when I needs ye.”
Sam stormed off, muttering to himself, and then Cranky noticed The Spiteful begin to turn slightly to the right. He glared at Mr Turney. “I told ye t’ watch those cross winds!” he growled. “Keep us steady or we won’t catch that ship.”
“Sorry cap’n,” he replied, turning the wheel and correcting the ship’s course.
Cranky watched the merchant vessel for a while longer and then turned his attention to his crew. They were loading cannons, climbing the rigging and seemed the most excited he’d seen them in a long time.
Cranky began to walk across the deck and give the men words of encouragement. He remembered Sam had told him it was better than yelling at them, but it was difficult at times to control his anger.
While Cranky spoke to his crew he took a brief moment to admire his ship. The Spiteful was a two-masted Brigantine, with a fore-and-aft triangular shaped mainsail. It also had two smaller square-shaped topsails. The skull and crossbones on the black sails were different than most ships. The skull looked like it was yelling. Its mouth was open and the eye sockets were shaped like a frown.
“We’ve been through a lot together,” he said patting the mainsail’s mast.
Cranky continued walking toward the forecastle, which was the upper part of the deck closest to the front of the ship. When Cranky arrived he noticed some Capuchin monkeys were climbing the rigging and chasing each other. The small monkeys were brown, but the colour around their face was white. All of the monkeys were wearing nappies.
Cranky could no longer control his temper. He scowled at them and yelled, “Mr Burroughs, there be some powder monkey’s that are neglectin’ their duties. They supposed t’ be supplyin’ th’ cannons with gunpowder, not runnin’ amok on first deck!”
There was no response and no sign of Mr Burroughs. Cranky turned to a lanky pirate standing nearby. There were over one hundred crewmembers on board and Cranky couldn’t remember this one’s name.
“Mr… um… pirate, I’m goin’ t’ find Mr Burroughs. See if ye an’ some of th’ other men can get some of those monkeys t’ come down while I’m gone.”
“Aye, aye, Cap’n.”
Cranky walked over to a ladder and began to climb down to the second deck. When he arrived he was greeted with a chaotic scene. Some of the monkeys were throwing gunpowder around and jumping on top of the cannons, screeching. There was also a rancid stench and Cranky tried to wave it away with his hand.
“Mr Burroughs, where are ye?” yelled Cranky, but there was no response. He walked down to the back of the ship where the galley was located. Plaited garlic, onions and various cured meats were hanging from the roof. In the middle of the kitchen was a small preparation table with a stack of dirty dishes on it. There was also onion goggles next to a chopped-up onion. Various barrels and sacks of food were piled against the walls. Behind the table was the ship’s chef, Grub. He was a large man with a puffy face and short, black greasy hair. Grub was constantly sweating, wiping away what drips he did catch with his hand. He was wearing a stained apron which read, ‘Bakin’ Boss’.
 Grub had just prepared some dough, made with flour, water and a pinch of salt. He was forming the dough into three-inch squares.
Cranky knocked on the entrance and said, “Ahoy Grub, 'ave ye seen Mr Burroughs?”
“Sorry, Cap’n, can nah say that I 'ave. I’m makin’ some hard tack biscuits, do ye want some? Got some broth around here ye can dip em into, so ye don’t hurt yer teeth.”
Cranky shook his head. “I don’t have time t’ eat any. Besides, some of them 'ave weevils in em.”
Grub shuffled nervously. “I um… added them fer flavour,” he said, breaking out into a large grin. “Good protein.”
Cranky glared at Grub and said, “Clean up yer kitchen, or ye’ll walk th’ plank.”
“Aye, aye, Cap.”
Cranky left Mr Grub and climbed down to the third deck. The monkeys were running around there too.
“Where be that gunner?” growled Cranky, looking from side to side. “Mr Burroughs, are ye here?”
Mr Burroughs head and upper body soon popped up from the fourth deck, right behind Cranky. Mr Burroughs was stocky and barrel-shaped. He had a short, muscular neck and a large, broad, flattened head. His face was covered in brown facial hair and his front two teeth stuck out prominently.
“I be here, Cap’n!”
Cranky jumped and then turned around and looked down at Mr Burroughs, fixing him with a fierce stare.
“I’ve told ye not t’ pop up right behind me like that!” Cranky growled. “What are ye doin’?”
“I’m tryin’ t’ round up some powder monkeys that ran down here.”
“Well, hurry up! We be closin’ in on th’ merchant vessel an’ I needs all of th’ cannons ready.”
There was a loud crash that came from the fourth deck.
“Blimey! What was that?” Cranky asked.
Mr Burroughs ducked and then his head popped up a short time later. “Nothin’ to um… worry about, Cap’n.”
“Avast! If ye don’t get th’ powder monkeys under control, ye’ll be walkin’ th’ plank!” yelled Cranky. “Savvy?”
“Aye, aye, Cap’n.”
Cranky climbed the ladder back to the first deck and then said, “Has anybody seen Captain Kook? He best be here givin’ us some aerial support.”
Corvus held his spyglass to his eye, had a good look around and soon spotted him. “Kook’s north east of us, he be catchin’ fish.”
“He always picks th’ most inappropriate times t’ go fishin’,” said Cranky. “I swear, when I get me hands on that bird I’m goin’ t’ turn 'im into a feather duster!”
Cranky was walking back to talk to Mr Turney when Corvus yelled, “Cap’n, we may 'ave a problem? Th’ merchant vessel be headin’ toward th’ Nail Islands.”
The Nail Islands were a group of about thirty small islands made out of limestone. They were stretched out wider at the top than at the bottom. Most were at least twenty meters tall and had no land access. Dotted vegetation grew on them. They were spread out enough so that a ship could sail in between them and lose a pursuing ship, who could easily make a wrong turn.
Cranky strode back to Mr Turney and said, “We needs t’ go faster, we can nah let them reach th’ safety of th’ islands.”
As Cranky watched the merchant vessel, he began to feel increasingly nervous. He hoped The Spiteful would be able to catch it before it escaped.


Tuesday 23 October 2018

Werewolf Woes

I wrote this poem while thinking about what it might like to be a werewolf. It's a bit cheeky :)


Werewolf Woes


I always become a werewolf
when the moon begins to rise.
My clothes get ripped and torn
and then I double up in size.

Although I’ve got no clothes on
after I transform,
it’s really not a worry,
as my fur will keep me warm.

When I’m a scary werewolf
out and on the prowl,
for awhile I’m happy,
you should hear me howl.

I really like to run around
searching for my prey.
When I find a tasty meal
they never get away.

But when I’m back to normal
it’s really not much fun.
I have to get back home again
by doing a nudie run.




Facebook Page 
@authormatthewhartley

Instagram
@authormhartley




Tuesday 16 October 2018

New Pirate Book

I’ve finished my new book! The Adventures of Captain Cranky – The King’s Treasure, is the first book in a series for MG readers. Here’s a blurb I wrote for it.

Pirate Captain Cranky is a wanted man.

After years of bad luck and living with the threat of mutiny, Cranky embarks on a desperate attempt to finally find his fortune and escape his pursuers.

Sailing his ship, The Spiteful through fierce storms and towering waves, Cranky and his crew struggle to stay one step ahead of The Tranquility and Captain Marshall Mellow, who’s been ordered to hunt them down.

First mate Sam Seaworth is the only one capable of keeping Cranky’s notorious temper in check and stopping it from jeopardising their mission. Also aiding Cranky in his quest are his pet kookaburra, Captain Kook, musician Sloop Dog and stowaway Shelley Sales – a skilled fighter with a mysterious past.

Cranky’s obsessed with being the richest pirate across the seven seas, but at what cost?

I don’t plan on self-publishing this book like I did with my two poetry books. I’m hoping a traditional publisher might be interested in it. Fingers crossed!

You can also see some of my work on my facebook page @authormatthewhartley. I'd love if you stopped by for a visit :)


Sunday 14 October 2018

Here's a poem from my book, The Teachers are in Trouble and Other Rhymes. Enjoy! 

Faking It

Today I really wanted to sleep,
as school just makes me blue.
And so I decided to stay at home,
telling Mum I had the flu.

Instead she pulled my bed sheets off,
she wasn’t that easy to fool.
‘You don’t have the flu,’ she said,
‘Get your butt to school.’

And so I bounded out of bed
and very soon was dressed.
I knew I’d soon be back at school
feeling pretty stressed.

I wish I didn’t feel so scared.
I wish I felt invincible.
But I absolutely cannot handle
being the school principal.


Sunday 25 February 2018

New Book

I just finished the first book in a new series I’ve been working on for middle grade readers. Can’t say too much about the book just yet, but I can reveal it’s a story about the angriest pirate who ever sailed the high seas. I can’t wait to tell you more about the series over the next couple of months!


Monday 19 February 2018

The Forgetful Student

Here’s a poem from my book, The Teachers are in Trouble and Other Rhymes. Enjoy!

The Forgetful Student

When I arrived at school today
I felt extremely bad.
I’d forgotten to do my homework
and my teacher got quite mad.

She said, ‘You’re very forgetful,’
and she tapped me on the head.
‘Do you think you can fix the problem?’
‘Of course I can,’ I said.

When I awoke next morning,
my homework was complete.
I put it in my schoolbag,
then headed down the street.

And when I arrived at school,
I didn’t know what to say.
Not a soul turned up for class,
because it was Saturday. 




The Teachers are in Trouble and Other Rhymes is available from Amazon and all other good bookstores. 





























Monday 12 February 2018

The Little Free Library

Recently I sent my book, A Fright in the Night and Other Rhymes to the Little Free Library, which is located on Walker Dr, Soledad, California. 

The Little Free Library has various books that cater to both adults and children, and I’m thrilled that my book is amongst them.




Here's an interview with me that was put up on the libraries billboard, when I was featured as author of the week.

Matthew Hartley lives in Melbourne, Australia. 

From an early age he had a love of reading and making up his own stories. He was so eager to be an author he printed out his first book on his home computer when he was eleven. It was called Psycho Robots, and he sold several copies to students from his class.

Many years later, in 2016, he published the humorous poetry collection, A Fright in the Night and Other Rhymes. The book was filled with poems about witches, giants, vampires and many more scary creatures.

In February this year, his second book of poetry, The Teachers are in Trouble and Other Rhymes will be released. In the book you’ll find The King of Burps, the teacher who got detention and many more colorful characters.

Matthew is excited to have his book included in the Little Free Library, and hopes his stories will encourage children to read more.

He is currently working on his first chapter book series for younger readers. It’s a swashbuckling adventure on the high seas!

To learn more about Matthew’s work, check out his Facebook group. 


A Fright in the Night and Other Rhymes is available to purchase from Amazon.





If you’d like to check out the Little Free Libraries facebook page here’s the link:

Thursday 4 January 2018

New Poem

Here's a new poem from my book, The Teachers are in Trouble and Other Rhymes, which is coming out soon!


The Magician


A magician came to school
and I really liked his show.
I wonder how he did his tricks,
I’d really like to know.

First he tapped his top hat
and said a magic word.
A fluffy bunny jumped out,
followed by a bird.

Then he told us, ‘I can fly,’
and soon began to rise.
I couldn’t see one single string,
which filled me with surprise.

But the last trick was the best,
he used a volunteer.
My teacher put her hand up
and he made her disappear.